Music Moves Us

Senior Man Relaxing Listening To Music On Headphones In Garden

Music moves us.

Last night I had a chance  to hear The Doobie Brothers live at the Cobb Energy Centre. Donny and I went with two couples, long-time friends of ours. In fact, I went to Fernbank Elementary with Jan and Jane Ellen. We’ve shared a 6-decade friendship.

The Doobie Brothers are an American rock band from San Jose, California. The group has sold more than 40 million albums worldwide.  They have been active for nearly five decades, with their greatest success in the 1970s.

Jan, Jane Ellen, along with the rest of our Druid Hills High School Crew grew up listening to this band, “Listen To The Music”, “What A Fool Believes”, “Jesus Is Just Alright”, “Takin’It To The Streets”, “China Grove”, just to name a few of their top hits.

Have you ever thought about how much music moves us?

I have, with the many deaths of well-known artists, in years gone by,  such as Larry Junstrom, Diahann Carroll, Robert Hunter of Grateful Dead,  Natalie Cole, age 65, 12/31/15; Craig Strickland, age 29, 1/4/16; Otis Clay, age 73, 1/8/16; David Bouie, age 69, 1/10/16; and sadly, Glen Frey, age 67, 1/18/16. As you click on each name, you will hear a song each artist was known for. It was really hard to choose one from the list of The Eagles, because I love them all, and like you, I know every line!

My Daddy’s favorite artist was Frank Sinatra, and I wrote a post about ‘Ole Blue Eyes recently. What are your all-time favorite groups?

Some of mine include: Bread, Casting Crowns, Cat Stevens, James Taylor, Selah, Laura Story,  just to name a few. I also LOVE this Casting Crowns song! Oh, and I’ve always loved this Cat Stevens’ song, as well.

Our friend, David R. Brewer, plays piano like no one I have ever heard.

I could listen to David tickle the keys all day long!

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David plays as we sing Christmas Carols with friends.

As you listen to songs on the radio, CD player, Sonos, Pandora,  and I-pods, have you ever thought about how much the lyrics can move us into action when we stop to think about them for a few minutes?

One song that did this for me when I was a young mommy was Carole King’s BEAUTIFUL.

The other day as we were driving along, the song In The Living Years, by Mike and the Mechanics came up on our Sirius station. As I listened to the words and then googled the lyrics to read along, I thought about the phrase, “Courageous Conversations” that our pastor, Dr. Ike Reighard taught us nearly a decade ago…having that difficult discussion with our loved ones even when it is awkward or uncomfortable. Our family took this phrase to heart, applying it to problems, to issues, to discussions that came along. We had courageous conversations often…. agreeing to disagree many times.

That is what this In The Living Years is about!

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What are some songs that have moved you in the past?

Click here to listen to

Carrie Underwood and Michael W. Smith

perform All Is Well.

Young woman sitting in the park and listening the music from a smart phone

A Loving Eulogy for My Father November 11th Veteran's Day 2013

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‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Alfred Lord Tennyson, British Poet (1809-1892) from his poem “In Memoriam A.H.H.”

Five  years ago on November 11, 2013, my Daddy passed away and went to join my Mama. It was Veteran’s Day, which was appropriate since Daddy had served in the U.S. Army Medical Corps in the late 1940s. My five siblings and I came up with the following attributes in reference to our father:

God-inspired, man of character, compassionate, humble, man of stability, respectable, charming, hard worker, steadfast family man, musician, avid fisherman, and beloved physician.

At the age of 93, it was certainly evident to each one of us that he had lived a long and beautiful life. Even so, this has not changed the truth of how much we miss him and our Mama, too. When one loves completely, the “missing” may lessen, but it never goes away. I spoke at Daddy’s funeral and wanted to share with you my words to honor the memory of my beloved father:

Joan’s Eulogy for her Daddy
November 14, 2013

Our father slipped away quietly on Monday, a gorgeous, autumn afternoon. The kind of day that our mom would’ve loved. When author C.S. Lewis’ wife passed away, he was quoted as saying :

“Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.”
C.S. Lewis (1898-1963) quote from his book, A Grief Observed, written in 1960

I believe that is exactly how our Dad felt after our Mama’s brief illness and death in October 2006. In fact, some of us thought Dad may join her in that first year of his bereavement.  Perhaps dying of a broken heart. But instead, our strong and courageous father rallied.Daddy continued to play his clarinet for his many grandchildren. He took take daily walks for fitness at nearby Dellinger Park. Dad also resumed his volunteer position of delivering Meals on Wheels to the homebound.

From the time I was a little girl, our big family drove to Savannah Beach every August for our annual family vacation. Often this trip landed on my birthday and I thought that was just part of the plan.  A beach birthday trip for Joan and family!

These were always great times! It was wonderful to see Daddy relax and take a break from his busy OB-Gyn solo practice.

When I think about who I am today, and who I am becoming, I think of both my mother and my father. Some of the most important character traits instilled in myself, my brothers, and my sisters are compassion and a strong work ethic. We now observe these same traits and many more in their grandchildren. WE are all thankful for the role model given to us by our parents, and I hope all of us for generations to come will honor their memory with our own lives.

Another life lesson that my father taught me is to have equanimity, a mental or emotional stability or composure, especially under tension or strain; calmness. While I am definitely still learning to practice equanimity, I believe another way to think of this is in Psalm 46:10:

“Be still and know that I am God.”

In closing, I remember how special the fall season has been to our parents, their wedding was on October 21, 1948.  Both Mom and Dad have now had their Homegoing in the fall.

I am reminded of one of Dad’s favorite musicians, Frank Sinatra, singing:

Autumn Leaves

“Since you went away the days grow long,
And soon I’ll hear old winter’s song.
But I miss you, most of all my darling,
When autumn leaves start to fall.”
 

I love you Mama and Daddy, so glad you’re finally back together!

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Posts You May Have Missed:

A Father Is More Than A Sperm Donor

Three Touchstones Of Showing Up: Acts Of Love Help During A Difficult Season

Four Ways To Best Help The Bereaved

Five Ways To Love Well, We Only Have One Chance

Five More Ways To Love Well, We Only Have One Chance

How The Soul Grows Through Loss

It Is Well With My Soul

A Grace Disguised: A Fork In The Road 

The Sandwich: A Courageous Conversation

“The Sandwich Technique” is a mindful, sensitive communication strategy which everyone (including sensitive people) can use to transform the relationships with their partner, friends, family, and co-workers.

Check out this link for a great, quick read about The Sandwich Technique.

This technique is not intended to be fake or simply to placate others. Being brutally direct can backfire and make people feel defensive and unable to hear your comments (no matter how useful they are).

When you use The Sandwich Technique, make requests not demands. Then, when you are communicating about a difficult issue, you sandwich the request between two positive statements. It’s a creative way of presenting challenging topics so that others can hear you. Let’s say you need more alone time. First you could say, “I appreciate all your support and I need your help with this.” Then place your request: “It would be great I can take more alone time to decompress. This will help me be even more present with you later.”

You empower your relationships by expressing your needs. Also, relationships thrive on both people feeling accepted. One patient told me, “My husband accepts me as I am. Through his acceptance I have learned to be true to myself.”

We all have issues to resolve in relationships no matter how good the match. To do this, we need to have loving, creative conversations.

The Sandwich Technique is a great way to have an important discussion with someone you care about.

When is the last time you were called to give difficult news to someone or have “that discussion” that you really don’t want to have?

I am very little inclined on any occasion to say anything unless I hope to produce some good by it. 

― Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the U.S.A. (1809-1865) 

Our pastor, Dr. Dwight “Ike” Reighard calls it a courageous conversation.

It has also been identified as “the elephant in the room”.

The next time you need to do this, try using the sandwich method. First, make a mental list of positive things you can share with the person you need to speak with and start with one of these. Next, consider how you will say, constructively, what needs to be stated. Finally, going back to your list of positives, end your conversation with one of these.

Positive***Negative***Positive

and voila, you have had the courageous conversation that surely needed to be had and all is well with this vital relationship. “The Sandwich” is a super great way to have that courageous conversation without hurting someone’s feelings.

I hope you will try this the next time you feel it is appropriate to say something that is on your mind.

Let’s Start Today!

35 Life Reminders For You And For Me

Life Reminders For You and For Me, Whether We Are Young, Old, or In Between

No matter our age, we are all here to help one another. Helping those younger than we are and those older than we are will add spice to our own lives. These life reminders will make our life sweeter, too!

My precious daughter, Leah, with her loving Aunt Laura Lea, Lake Blue Ridge

1. Make your bed every day; even if it’s right before you get in it. But I recommend doing it first thing.

It sets you up for a great day ahead.

2. Don’t wear ‘holey’ underwear. Ever. You deserve to feel decadent at all times…regardless.

3. Travel light through life. Keep only what you need. This includes people.

One of my sisters, Kathy and me

4. Put butter on your biscuit , and twice as much when you miss me. Add some fig preserves to remind yourself that comfort can be unusual.

Kelly and Megan, Taylor’s Shelter, October 2015

5. It’s okay to cry when you’re hurt. It’s also okay to smash things; but, wash your face, clean your mess, and get up off the floor when you’re done. You don’t belong down there.

My sister, Mary Ann, serving at a clinic with my beautiful niece, Amy

6. If you’re going to curse, be clever. If you’re going to curse in public, know your audience.

Peg and Marilyn, October 2017, Abingdon, VA for Taylor’s Ride

7. Seek out the people and places that resonate with your soul. Check in with yourself…a clenched jaw, heavy heart or cranky tummy is your sign to bail.

College Reunion # 39 Marietta, Georgia 2017

8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. And just because you shouldn’t doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take the chance. Just be smart about your risks.

9. 5-second rule. It’s just dirt. There are worse things in a fast food cheeseburger.

10. Happiness is not a permanent state. Wholeness is.   Don’t confuse these.

Pam and Wanda, May 2017 Lake Blue Ridge Women’s Retreat

11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack your bag.

Robin, Rhonda, and Susan, The Dinner Team at our May 2017 Women’s Retreat

12. Never walk through an alley.

13. Be less sugar, more spice, and only as nice as you’re able to without compromising yourself.

Aimee Copeland  founder of Aimee Copeland Foundation, empowering people of all abilities to lead fulfilling and joyful lives

14. Can’t is a cop-out. BIG TIME. Step UP. Google It. Teach yourself. Don’t be mediocre.

A Hike on our Women’s Retreat May 2017

15. Hold your heroes to a high standard. Be your own hero.

16. If you can’t smile with your eyes, don’t smile. Insincerity is nothing to aspire to.

17. Never lie to yourself. EVER. Embrace your delusions…and get on with it….

Leah doing one of her favorite things, surfing!

18. Your body, your rules. Always.

Paddle boarding on Lake Blue Ridge

19. If you have an opinion, you better know why. If you don’t have an opinion, admit it and ask questions so that you can form one.

Hiking Mt. LeConte with girlfriends in the Great Smokey Mountains of Tennessee, June 2016

20. Practice your passions. Every. Day. No exceptions!

21. Ask for what you want. The worse thing they can say is no. A closed mouth doesn’t get fed.

My brave and beautiful niece, Pamela, Mommy to two. Here with son, Roman.

22. Wish on stars and dandelions, then get to work to make them happen (leave room for magic)

My beautiful niece, Emily with her niece, Noelle

23. Don’t skimp on good sheets. Like underwear and lovers…only the best should ever touch your skin.

24. Fall in love often. Particularly with ideas, art, music, literature, food and far-off places.

Artist, Holly Irwin visits The Women’s Extension with me 2017

25. Fall hard and forever in love with nothing but yourself.

My Girls! Leah and Jessica, Summer 2016

26. Say Please, Thank You, and Pardon Me, whenever the situation warrants it.

27. Reserve I’m sorry for when you truly are.

28. Naps are for grown-ups, too. Indulge.

29. Question everything except your own intuition.

Sunrise Cruise GG, 2016 Lake Blue Ridge

30. You have enough. You are enough.

Cocktails and Carols with David Brewer, December 2016

31. You are amazing! Don’t let anyone ever make you feel you are not. If someone does….walk away. You deserve better.

32. No matter where you are, you can always come home.

There Is Always A Road You Can Take Back Home

33. Be happy, say your prayers and remember your roots.

Our first two grandchildren, Elizabeth and Tripp. Their arrival in late 2018 has changed everything for my husband and me.
My Mama, my best friend, (1927-2006)

34. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

35. No one will ever love you more than I do

                          Copied, Author Unknown

*I would love to know what you would add to this list! Comment Below and share with those you love the very most in this life.

Time For A Change Of Heart How Is Your Heart Today?

Close up of human hands holding human heart

Often when I am reading a devotion such as My Utmost For His Highest, I flip to the different scriptures that are referenced in the text. As I was reading Utmost, this morning, I was led to a passage in Luke 8:1-3. Here,  I found a quote I had written in the margin:

” Our hearts are the soil and the seed is the Word of God.” Warren Wiersbe. (5/16/1929-     American pastor best known for his series of 50 books in the “BE” series: Be Real, Be Mature, Be Joyful, etc.)

The longer I live, the more I have realized that LIFE is all about the HEART. Some days, I have to be more intentional than ever about a change of heart.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23

 Both the physical, beating heart, and our inner, soulful heart. Now age 60 + couple of months, along with being a first-time Grandmother,  a continuous change of heart is one of my greatest desires: to keep my physical heart as healthy as humanly possible, and to keep my inner heart engaged, honest, connected to my God, and linked with others. Note: Our daughter’s family added their first born, a son, Tripp on August 24, 2018, while our son and his wife welcomed a little girl, Elizabeth on September 7, 2018. Needless to say, our hearts are delighted.

I shared here in my recent post 10 Things That Organized People Do, that in the past, off and on, I have used the Weight Watchers Program to give me some assistance with my health goals.

Once I was in a meeting and I was forever inspired by a woman about my age who shared that she had been in a wheelchair for the past three years, and just that week had completed her first fitness walk!

Inspiration is everywhere when we are looking for it.

Though I am not currently working the WW Program, I have come to realize that this program is emphasizing the inner heart, more and more. Not just a number on the scales. Encouragement is given to the participants to really look after him or herself. In fact, the tag line on their planning guide is:

LOSE WEIGHT

GET HEALTHIER

 LIVE HAPPIER

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If losing weight is your primary goal, it is important to know that the Weight Watchers Program, if followed pretty closely, promises 1-3 lbs of loss per week. This is consistent with the results I have seen whenever I have taken the program seriously.

Lately for the TLC I give my physical heart, I have been doing the following:  emulating my husband’s intentional and consistent example of jumping on our Peloton Bike 3 times a week.  Fitting in some strength training.  Eating more frequently with smaller portions of more of the right, best foods. Oh, and drinking more water…except for the occasional, irresistible cookies and cream Chick-fil-A milkshake <smile BIG>.

Life-style change and a healthy state of

well-being is what I am going for.

If you still have children and/or grandchildren in your weekly life, consider Kitchen Twins. Emily and Lyla have a mission to get the family in the kitchen together cooking healthy foods. But, this post is not just about weight loss. It’s about our hearts!

Did you know? Our hearts, both inner and outer, need daily attention, just like many other things do.

What?  “Something else needs my attention???” While I did not get the speaker’s name, I recently heard a radio show and I liked this idea of checking in daily with your inner heart:

“As you drive along in your car, stopping at stop lights or in traffic jams, notice when the car stops, therefore stopping your body, allow your mind to stop, as well.  Just for that couple of minutes, do some deep breathing, allowing your mind to rest. Your inner heart will reap the benefits.”

As you practice this daily, be sure to silence that inner critic voice that tries to rear its ugly head. Read an earlier post, Fire The Bad Boss Inside, by clicking here.

The best person on this earth to take care of us is ourselves!

I am quite sure you have heard the oxygen mask story, but it bears repeating. Click here to read it.

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According to The American Heart Association, our physical hearts can benefit so much from 30 minutes of cardiovascular fitness a few days a week. Here are a couple of articles to get us moving: Identifying Your Fitness Goals, Breaking Down Barriers To Fitness, and Making A Commitment To Fitness. With Summer upon us, we are at the perfect time to set some goals for an early morning daily walk before the new day heats up.

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An integral part of keeping my inner heart in tune is reading and meditating on scripture often. Click here for some of my go-to verses that reference our hearts.

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How is your heart today?

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Have you ever read the story of Corrie ten Boom? If not, click on the link below to read about this courageous woman!

Corrie ten Boom

Previous Posts You May Have Missed:

Solitude: Seven Ways To Find It

Every Beating Heart Has A Story

Why I Write

Gift From The Sea

The Simple Things

Give: It Will Be Given Unto You

Friends and Fitness Make The Difference

Fire The Bad Boss Inside Now

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If You Can’t Find The Answer LIVE YOUR QUESTION

An anonymous poet once said:

“Sometimes when you don’t know the answer, live the question.”

Many tried to tell me how I might feel as a first-time grandmother.  Most exclaimed that there were no words that could describe this new relationship. I agree. I do have occasional questions about these little ones’ future. Okay, the truth is that my thoughts surround Tripp, Elizabeth and their parents, constantly, lol. Our lives have changed forever since the births of our first two grands: Michael Scott Andrews, lll (Tripp) and Elizabeth Noel Page, respectively on 8/24/18 and 9/7/18. Our grand babies are pictured here during their nightly bath time.

Elizabeth Page
Tripp Andrews

Will they grow strong and will they be brave enough for this tough world we reside in? Will they truly know how much I love and cherish them? How will they face life challenges that are sure to come? What will they be? I find myself praying for Elizabeth and Tripp fervently each day. My Mama did the same for her children, her grands, and her great-grands.

In over six decades of living,  I have come to realize many things. More than ever before, I have seen that sometimes the questions that we have in this life do not have answers that are easy to uncover…

WHY did someone have to die so soon?
WHY can’t _____ and _____ get along better?
WHY does this habit have such a strong hold on me?
WHY is this loved one living with a disability?
WHY was my husband unfaithful to me? OR
WHY did my husband die so young leaving me with the children?
FILL IN THE BLANK WITH SOME OF YOUR WHYS:_______________________________

As we journey through life, I think it is important to pray and talk to trustworthy friends, and perhaps even a counselor, about the issues in our lives.

Still,  sometimes the answers just don’t come this side of heaven.
So what do we do?

WE LIVE THE QUESTION. We submit ourselves to the truth that we do not know the answer and we live the question, recognizing that the question may always be with us.
In the book CELEBRATION of DISCIPLINE, By, Richard Foster, the author speaks to this on page 111:

“I said that every discipline has its corresponding freedom. What freedom corresponds to submission? It is the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing to get our own way. The obsession to demand that things go the way we want them to go is one of the greatest bondages in human society today. People will spend weeks, months, even a lifetime, in a perpetual stew because something did not go as they wished. They will get mad about it. They will act as if their very life hangs on the issue. They may even get an ulcer, develop health problems over it.”

So, today, take a few moments to consider what “questions” have been gnawing at you, and make the choice to simply breathe and live out your days with an understanding that some of the “answers” are not for us to know just now.

JoAnn, Jan, Kay, Susan, and Delores take in the sunrise on Lake Blue Ridge.
Watching our daughter as a first-time Mommy to Tripp has truly been an extraordinary experience. I’ve thought of my own Mama more than ever as I know how much she loved observing her four daughters as mothers to her grands. My heart is overflowing with gratefulness for the gift of my daughter, Leah…she is truly a loving, nurturing responsible Mommy, just like I knew she would be.
Monday Lunch Date on October 29, 2018. “A daughter is God’s way of saying…”thought you could use a lifelong friend.” Anonymous

Previous Posts You May Have Missed:

Authentic Prayer

Four Questions For God

Wrestling And Seeking

Where Is He?

Peace Like A River

It Is Well With My Soul

Solitude: Seven Ways To Find It

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New Season, New Start. What Does It Look Like From Your View? Taking A Time Out

New season. New start. What does it look like from your view?

I am taking a time out here on Pages From Joan amidst changing landscapes, new hopes and dreams.

The phone conversation took place only a few days before my Mama’s passing in October of 2006. I hadn’t summoned the courage to cry with her about her imminent death following a few short months of an esophageal cancer diagnosis. So when I returned to my home from a visit, the emotional dam broke as the tears flowed. “It’s a new beginning, Joan,” my Mama said softly, knowing that her time here on earth was drawing to an end.

We're all just walking each other home. Ram Dass

Today, that thought returns to me as I have decided to start another new beginning for me. Starting now, for a season, I will focus more on my book project and less on my Pages From Joan.

With each passing day, I am making more self-discoveries. Is that how the aging process works? I believe so, if we are open to the breakthroughs that can come with constructive comments by those who love us the most.

A close friend reminded me recently that if we don’t take care of ourselves, we cannot be of much benefit to anyone else. I have blogged about this very thing in the past, in posts like Fire The Bad Boss Inside, Your Beautifully, Messy, Complicated Life Matters, Solitude: Seven Ways To Find It, and Are You A People Pleaser? Five Tips To Help You Stop.

And yet, I am at a fork-in-the-road again, wondering how well I have been taking care of myself of late. I feel out of balance. How about you? Is it time for a new beginning in your life journey? Remember the story about the oxygen mask? Click here to read it. Do you consistently put your O2 mask on before helping others? The moral of the story being that you can’t pour a glass of water when you’re cup is empty. Ironically, this scenario is more a lesson in giving than it is in selfishness.

I so appreciate you, my readers, the ones who have followed my Pages. You who have encouraged me so along the way, sending me messages, comments and even notes in the mail. THANK YOU!

I plan to take a few months furlough with a projection to return later this year. Meanwhile, I would love to stay in touch. If you would like to communicate with me via email, through Facebook Messenger, or even by being pen pals, please reach out to me at joanwpage08@gmail.com.

In closing this post, I would like to share something a fellow blogger passed to me in the past week that resonates with my heart. This is a list of 40 Things from her blog post about developing more happiness and emotional healthiness for your personal journey. Click here to read Rebecca’s post on her site: Self Development Secrets.

Life Is Short, that is for sure. The moments are fleeting. Let’s all put on our O2 masks as we go forward into this day.

What does a new beginning look like for you?

Posts You May Have Missed:

Where Is He? He Is In Us

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Authentic Prayer

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Learn To Love Yourself Despite The Struggle: An Interview

Run To The Roar: Bold Like A Lion

The Long And Winding Road

Wisdom On Aging Another Tuesday With Dad

A wonderful book, a story of the heart told by a writer with soul. Los Angeles Times about Tuesdays With Morrie: an old man, a young man, and life's greatest lesson By, Mitch Albom

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Written in 1997, Tuesdays With Morrie penned by Mitch Albom, has truly become one of my most favorite books to read and reread, time and again. And I am not the only one who loves it! Nearly 4,000 5-star reviews can be found on Amazon about this inspiring read. If you have read it before, but not in a while, consider rereading it today!

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On Tuesday this past week, I found myself reading aloud once again to my husband’s 85 year-old father. His friend and neighbor, Bob, was not able to join us because he was on a field trip to Lake Allatoona. Reading aloud with the ones you love is such a great way to connect, and I wrote about this in an earlier post here.

Following is some of what we read from The Seventh Tuesday: We Talk About the Fear of Aging:

Later that day, we talked about aging. Or maybe I should say the fear of aging-another of the issues on my what’s-bugging-my-generation list. On my ride from the Boston airport, I had counted the billboards that featured young and beautiful people. There was a handsome young man in a cowboy hat, smoking a cigarette two beautiful young women smiling over a shampoo bottle, a sultry-looking teenager with her jeans unsnapped, and a sexy woman in a black velvet dress, next to a man in a tuxedo, the two of them snuggling a glass of scotch.

Not once did I see anyone who would pass for over thirty-five. I told Morrie I was already feeling over the hill, much as I tried desperately to stay on top of it. I worked out constantly. Watched what I ate. Checked my hairline in the mirror. I had gone from being proud to say my age-because of all I had done so young-to not bringing it up, for fear I was getting too close to forty and. therefore, professional oblivion.IMG_0997

Morrie had aging in better perspective.

“All this emphasis on youth-I don’t buy it,” he said. “Listen, I know that a misery being young can be, so don’t tell me it’s so great. All these kids who came to me with their struggles, their strife, their feelings of inadequacy, their sense that life was miserable…

Weren’t you ever afraid to grow old, I asked?

“Mitch, I embrace aging.”

Embrace it?

“It’s very simple. As you grow, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two, you’d always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. Aging is not just decay, you know. It is growth. It’s more than the negative that you’re going to die, it’s also the positive that you understand you’re going to die, and that you live a better life because of it.

Yes, I said, but if aging were so valuable, why do people always say, “Oh if I were young again.” You never hear people say, “I wish I were sixty-five.”

He smiled. “You know what that reflects? Unsatisfied lives. Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven’t found meaning. Because if you’ve found meaning in your life, you don’t want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more. You can’t wait until sixty-five.”

“Listen, you should know something. All younger people should know something. If you’re always battling against getting older, you’re always going to be unhappy, because it will happen anyhow. And Mitch?”

He lowered his voice.

“The fact is you’re going to die eventually.”

I nodded.

“It won’t matter what you tell yourself.”

I know.

“But hopefully,” he said, “not for a long, long time.”

Morrie closed his eyes with a peaceful look, then asked me to adjust his pillows. (from pages 115-121)

So how about you? How has Morrie’s message impacted the way you look at aging and dying? What exactly does a “good death” look like? Click here to read a recent article entitled A ‘good death’ by going gentle into that good night.

Here are some posts you may have missed that may give you more insight on living well and the aging process:

Read It Loud: How To Make A Connection

5 Lessons From Osceola McCarty

Aging Gracefully

What Is It Like To Be Ninety?

Five Ways To Love Well

Five More Ways To Love Well

The Long And Winding Road

IMG_1954As we travel along this long and winding road called LIFE, there are sure to be treacherous curves and bumps in our path that slow us down and perhaps, even bring us to a halting stop.

Plant a seed of friendship; reap a bouquet of happiness. Lois L. Kaufman

These can be catastrophic and tragic or hopefully, more likely, a sadness in our hearts over some circumstance that has transpired in our journey. It is August first, and that means school for many, many kids, parents, teachers and administrators alike. August first also marks my 58th birthday. I have never been shy about sharing my age, probably because of 3 things my Mama taught me about aging. Among other mantras, these are things she said often to me:

  1. Age is a matter of the mind, if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
  2. I’d rather be this age than any other age I can think of.
  3. Our age is just a number.
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(July 20, 2016 at Fernandina Harbor Marina) (Leah, our daughter, to my right, and Jessica, our son’s wife, to my left.) I have come to call on these two wise, young women for advice and guidance along the way.

Either way, I have discovered the importance of having folks, friends and family, who will walk beside me, shoulder-to-shoulder, and not try to fix the unfixable in my life. These are friends that make me think of the song, I Hope You Dance, by Lee Ann Womack. Click here to listen to these great lyrics.

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10/3/15 at Taylor’s Shelter with Susan, my friend for four decades!

These friends truly are the FLOWERS IN THE GARDEN OF LIFE!

These friends truly are a GIFT FROM GOD ABOVE.

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Our “Sister Sessions” several times each year strengthen us for the journey.

Henri J.M. Nouwen (1932-1996) was born in Nijkerk, Holland, and came to the United States in 1964. A Roman Catholic Priest and psychologist, he has taught at several prestigious universities, including Yale, Harvard, and Notre Dame. He is the author of over twenty books, among them The Wounded Healer and With Open Hands, with a more recent one being Discernment: Reading The Signs Of Daily Life. I have often been inspired by Nouwen’s writing and once again, I am moved to share his thoughts on “what really matters.”

When we honestly ask which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief or bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not-healing, and face with us the reality of our powerlessness…makes it clear that whatever happens in the external world, being present to each other is what really matters.” Henri Nouwen

As I travel along on my long and winding road, I desire to be this kind of friend to those God puts in my path and I am so grateful to those whom He has provided to minister to me in my times of need.

Far from perfect, I know that as a believer, when I seek Him, I will find him every time, and He will grant me the grace and the wisdom I need to continue on the path before me.

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens. Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance. And when you get the chance to sit it out, or dance. I hope you'll dance! Lee Ann Womack, I Hope You Dance
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How Great Thou Art! Myrtle Point, LeConte Hike in TN on June 7, 2016.
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Sunrise with five precious friends, JoAnn, Jan, Kay, Susan, and Delores on Tuesday, July 12, 2016.

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My Mama is the best friend I have ever had!

Posts you may have missed related to my long and winding road:

Fertile Prayers

Children Are Wet Cement

3 Things To Consider

A Mother’s Wisdom: Five Lessons

Read It Loud How To Make A Connection

Earlier today, on Tuesday, I was reading aloud to my father-in-law and his neighbor, Bob. Having always loved reading to Leah and Walker, I discovered, once again, that reading aloud is a great way to make a connection with another beating heart. I hope by the time you finish this short post, that you, too, will be inspired to share reading with someone in your world.

Back in the mid-1970’s, I was a high-schooler when I would drive myself to Wesley Woods Retirement Community to visit my paternal grandmother, Anna Mae Walker, known as Mamaw to all of us.

Dying is only one thing to be sad over. Living unhappily is something else.” Morrie Schwartz to Mitch in Tuesdays With Morrie

 Mamaw had been widowed for well over a decade and our Mama encouraged us to visit her as often as possible.

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My Daddy and his mother, our Mamaw

Those were lonely days for our grandmother and you could sure tell it when you walked into her small apartment. Mamaw would be sitting in a comfortable chair, in a pretty dress, looking out the window. Her hair would be in a tight french twist on the back of her head. Our conversation went something like this: “Hi, Mamaw, ” I would say with a smile. “Oh, hello,” she would answer softly, always a little surprised to have a visitor. After our greetings, there was little more to talk about, and now I wish I had thought of the idea to read aloud to her. Back in the early 1960’s, just after her husband had passed away, our grandmother lived in a children’s home as a piano teacher for all of the children. The truth is, once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.” Morrie Schwartz to Mitch in Tuesdays With Morrie 

She loved journaling, reading, and all sorts of things. Reading aloud to her would’ve given us interesting things to talk about.

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Dad Page

Recently, I came up with the idea to read aloud to my husband’s father. We are about half way through one of my all-time favorite books: Tuesdays With Morrie, by, Mitch Albom, and we try to read together on Tuesdays in honor of Morrie Schwartz.

I mentioned this life-changing book in an earlier post when I wrote about Oseola McCarty.

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March 14, 2016 marked one year since we moved Donny’s father by ambulance from their hometown of Thomaston, Georgia so that we could keep a closer eye on him here near our home.

Life is a series of pulls back and forth…A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. Most of us live somewhere in the middle. A wrestling match…which side wins? Love wins. Love always wins.” Morrie Schwartz to Mitch in Tuesdays With Morrie 

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Undergoing treatment for double pneumonia, Dad was immediately placed on a ventilator, which we were thankfully able to wean him off of within a few weeks. Saying these past 14 months have been tumultuous is an understatement. Dad has been in and out of the hospital too many times to count, rehabilitation for physical weakness, and he celebrated his 85th back on October 13, 2015. Today, even though he remains under the care of Hospice, and still gets confused about things, he is correctly working word puzzles in the newspaper, and he is walking with the aid of a rollater.

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Dad Page and his neighbor across the hall, Bob have been enjoying the story of Morrie Schwartz. We have laughed a lot and the reading has triggered many good memories from both gentlemen who are living out their last season of life. The next book I plan to share with them is The Last Lecture, by, Randy Pausch.IMG_0430

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Is there someone in your path who might like

some one-on-one time with you?

It might be a small child or someone like Dad Page.

Elementary age children and teens can read to their grandparents.

Reading together will make the world a better place.

Consider reading aloud one of your favorite stories!

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