I have learned a few things about weddings as a MOB (Mom-of-Bride) and a MOG (Mom-of-Groom) since I had the chance to be both this past year, within eleven weeks of each other. Yes, our only daughter married in March 2014 and our only son was a groom in June 2014. We are happy knowing that they have married well-suited partners and are looking forward to a bright future for both couples!
Fall is a beautiful time for a wedding! My parents , my sister, Laura Lea and her husband, and we were all married in the fall. Most weddings, it seems, take place in the spring or summer months. With that being so, you may be planning a 2015 wedding. I hope the following lessons I have learned might benefit you:
Advice for the bride and the Mom of the bride (MOB):
Breathe Purposefully and Often (see breathing exercise below).
CRY as needed, and if you don’t want to cry in public, go cry in a pillow.
KNOW that the day will go by no matter what. Do your best to enjoy it.
Also KNOW that one or more things are likely to not go exactly as planned, so as stated above, simply breathe through the circumstances and don’t let a problem ruin these special, fleeting moments.
Laugh and smile whenever you can.
Be happy that your daughter has found the love of her life.
The demeanor of the MOB spills over to the bride which spills over to the groom. It helps for the MOB to be intentional about her overall attitude and well-being. Exercise often.
Most importantly, PRAY a lot. Pray for His peace that passes all human understanding. The Bible says that those who seek Him will find Him every time. ( James 4:8 & Deuteronomy 4:29) Pray without ceasing, (1Thessalonians 5:16-18) sending up “arrow prayers” throughout the preceding days.
**And lastly, for the Bride and Groom, foster your faith together in God. “Though ONE may be overpowered, TWO can defend themselves, a cord of THREE strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12
through your nose,
for a count of FOUR.
Hold for a full count of
through your mouth
for a full count of EIGHT,
I also learned a few things as a Mom of the Groom. It is truly a myth that the MOG must wear beige and keep her mouth shut. Make yourself available for the bride, but recognize that she and her mom will likely be taking care of most details. Keep communication open and always be ready to listen to whatever is being planned. Stay connected to your son with one-on-one visits/phone calls/texts as much as possible. Take JOY in knowing that your son has found a woman who loves him and that he wants to share his future with. Pray for the couple and share Ecclesiastes 4:12 with them. On the actual wedding day, focus on the groom and his wedding party friends. They will need to eat (a lot) and you can help attend to details that come up for them.
All in all, 2014 has been a memorable year. Six new babies were born into our family, our son and his wife graduated from college, and both of our two children were married.
If you have been a parent of a bride or groom recently, you may have advice to add! If so, please leave your thoughts below.
Walker and Jessica now reside in St. Louis, MO where he is continuing his education and she is a nurse. I try to write them letters a couple of times each month, yes, actual U.S. Postal letters! We also schedule FaceTime regularly with them. Leah and Scott live nearby, so we are able to connect often with meals in and we exercise together. Maintaining solid relationships with anyone, including married children, calls for intentional, conscientious choices. My husband, Donny and I try to only give advice to the newlyweds when it is asked for, and even then, we give the “short answer”, dropping the subject unless the couple brings it up again.
With the holiday season upon us, I credit my much-loved Fernbank Elementary friend, Jan, who also has two married children, with teaching me that any holiday can be celebrated on any day, so let’s be flexible when it comes to sharing special days with our child’s in-law family.
Life is here.
Life is now.
Let us rejoice in Life.
My Mama’s favorite verse was:
“This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24