Music Moves Us

Senior Man Relaxing Listening To Music On Headphones In Garden

Music moves us.

Last night I had a chance  to hear The Doobie Brothers live at the Cobb Energy Centre. Donny and I went with two couples, long-time friends of ours. In fact, I went to Fernbank Elementary with Jan and Jane Ellen. We’ve shared a 6-decade friendship.

The Doobie Brothers are an American rock band from San Jose, California. The group has sold more than 40 million albums worldwide.  They have been active for nearly five decades, with their greatest success in the 1970s.

Jan, Jane Ellen, along with the rest of our Druid Hills High School Crew grew up listening to this band, “Listen To The Music”, “What A Fool Believes”, “Jesus Is Just Alright”, “Takin’It To The Streets”, “China Grove”, just to name a few of their top hits.

Have you ever thought about how much music moves us?

I have, with the many deaths of well-known artists, in years gone by,  such as Larry Junstrom, Diahann Carroll, Robert Hunter of Grateful Dead,  Natalie Cole, age 65, 12/31/15; Craig Strickland, age 29, 1/4/16; Otis Clay, age 73, 1/8/16; David Bouie, age 69, 1/10/16; and sadly, Glen Frey, age 67, 1/18/16. As you click on each name, you will hear a song each artist was known for. It was really hard to choose one from the list of The Eagles, because I love them all, and like you, I know every line!

My Daddy’s favorite artist was Frank Sinatra, and I wrote a post about ‘Ole Blue Eyes recently. What are your all-time favorite groups?

Some of mine include: Bread, Casting Crowns, Cat Stevens, James Taylor, Selah, Laura Story,  just to name a few. I also LOVE this Casting Crowns song! Oh, and I’ve always loved this Cat Stevens’ song, as well.

Our friend, David R. Brewer, plays piano like no one I have ever heard.

I could listen to David tickle the keys all day long!

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David plays as we sing Christmas Carols with friends.

As you listen to songs on the radio, CD player, Sonos, Pandora,  and I-pods, have you ever thought about how much the lyrics can move us into action when we stop to think about them for a few minutes?

One song that did this for me when I was a young mommy was Carole King’s BEAUTIFUL.

The other day as we were driving along, the song In The Living Years, by Mike and the Mechanics came up on our Sirius station. As I listened to the words and then googled the lyrics to read along, I thought about the phrase, “Courageous Conversations” that our pastor, Dr. Ike Reighard taught us nearly a decade ago…having that difficult discussion with our loved ones even when it is awkward or uncomfortable. Our family took this phrase to heart, applying it to problems, to issues, to discussions that came along. We had courageous conversations often…. agreeing to disagree many times.

That is what this In The Living Years is about!

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What are some songs that have moved you in the past?

Click here to listen to

Carrie Underwood and Michael W. Smith

perform All Is Well.

Young woman sitting in the park and listening the music from a smart phone

Memorial Day and Veterans Day Know The Difference

Have you ever wondered about the difference between two major military holidays, Memorial Day and Veterans Day? Sometimes there is confusion about the two, so I am hoping by the time you have read through this short post, you and I will have a clearer understanding of these important holidays. Click here for a brief video that does a good job of showing us the difference. EVERY DAY is a good day to raise the flag!

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Some of The Moon Family along with Sam Moon and his Cub Scout Pack 178 place flags in Marietta National Cemetery, 2016.

Children are like wet cement, very impressionable. Both of these days can be opportunities to teach them so much about the men and women who have preserved our freedom with their commitment to serve in a branch of the military.

In a nutshell, here is some info about each of these two important holidays:

****Memorial Day is a federal holiday in the United States for remembering the people who died while serving in the country’s armed forces. The holiday, which is observed every year on the last Monday of May, originated as Decoration Day after the American Civil War in 1868, when the Grand Army of the Republic, an organization of Union veterans founded in Decatur, Illinois, established it as a time for the nation to decorate the graves of the Union war dead with flowers. By the 20th century, competing Union and Confederate holiday traditions, celebrated on different days, had merged, and Memorial Day eventually extended to honor all Americans who died while in the military service. It marks the start of the unofficial summer vacation season, while Labor Day marks its end.

Many people visit cemeteries and memorials, particularly to honor those who have died in military service. Many volunteers place an American flag on each grave in national cemeteries.

Memorial Day is not to be confused with Veterans Day; Memorial Day is a day of remembering the men and women who died while serving, while Veterans Day celebrates the service of all U.S. military veterans.  (Wikipedia)

***Veterans Day is an official United States public holiday, observed annually on November 11, that honors military veterans, that is, persons who served in the United States Armed Forces. It coincides with other holidays, including Armistice Day and Remembrance Day, celebrated in other countries that mark the anniversary of the end of World War I; major hostilities of World War I were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918, when the Armistice with Germany went into effect. The United States previously observed Armistice Day. The U.S. holiday was renamed Veterans Day in 1954.

Veterans Day is not to be confused with Memorial Day; Veterans Day celebrates the service of all U.S. military veterans, while Memorial Day honors those who died while in military service. (Wikipedia)

I hope this brief explanation will help you and me, our children, our grandchildren, as well as others we meet along the way to gain a greater clarification regarding Memorial Day and Veterans Day.

Now that Memorial Day 2016 has come and gone, summer is officially here. Enjoy every moment!

Some other Pages From Joan posts regarding our veterans:

Man’s Best Friend

Memorial Day: Three Ways To Raise Up The Flag

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A Loving Eulogy for My Father November 11th Veteran's Day 2013

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‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Alfred Lord Tennyson, British Poet (1809-1892) from his poem “In Memoriam A.H.H.”

Five  years ago on November 11, 2013, my Daddy passed away and went to join my Mama. It was Veteran’s Day, which was appropriate since Daddy had served in the U.S. Army Medical Corps in the late 1940s. My five siblings and I came up with the following attributes in reference to our father:

God-inspired, man of character, compassionate, humble, man of stability, respectable, charming, hard worker, steadfast family man, musician, avid fisherman, and beloved physician.

At the age of 93, it was certainly evident to each one of us that he had lived a long and beautiful life. Even so, this has not changed the truth of how much we miss him and our Mama, too. When one loves completely, the “missing” may lessen, but it never goes away. I spoke at Daddy’s funeral and wanted to share with you my words to honor the memory of my beloved father:

Joan’s Eulogy for her Daddy
November 14, 2013

Our father slipped away quietly on Monday, a gorgeous, autumn afternoon. The kind of day that our mom would’ve loved. When author C.S. Lewis’ wife passed away, he was quoted as saying :

“Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.”
C.S. Lewis (1898-1963) quote from his book, A Grief Observed, written in 1960

I believe that is exactly how our Dad felt after our Mama’s brief illness and death in October 2006. In fact, some of us thought Dad may join her in that first year of his bereavement.  Perhaps dying of a broken heart. But instead, our strong and courageous father rallied.Daddy continued to play his clarinet for his many grandchildren. He took take daily walks for fitness at nearby Dellinger Park. Dad also resumed his volunteer position of delivering Meals on Wheels to the homebound.

From the time I was a little girl, our big family drove to Savannah Beach every August for our annual family vacation. Often this trip landed on my birthday and I thought that was just part of the plan.  A beach birthday trip for Joan and family!

These were always great times! It was wonderful to see Daddy relax and take a break from his busy OB-Gyn solo practice.

When I think about who I am today, and who I am becoming, I think of both my mother and my father. Some of the most important character traits instilled in myself, my brothers, and my sisters are compassion and a strong work ethic. We now observe these same traits and many more in their grandchildren. WE are all thankful for the role model given to us by our parents, and I hope all of us for generations to come will honor their memory with our own lives.

Another life lesson that my father taught me is to have equanimity, a mental or emotional stability or composure, especially under tension or strain; calmness. While I am definitely still learning to practice equanimity, I believe another way to think of this is in Psalm 46:10:

“Be still and know that I am God.”

In closing, I remember how special the fall season has been to our parents, their wedding was on October 21, 1948.  Both Mom and Dad have now had their Homegoing in the fall.

I am reminded of one of Dad’s favorite musicians, Frank Sinatra, singing:

Autumn Leaves

“Since you went away the days grow long,
And soon I’ll hear old winter’s song.
But I miss you, most of all my darling,
When autumn leaves start to fall.”
 

I love you Mama and Daddy, so glad you’re finally back together!

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Posts You May Have Missed:

A Father Is More Than A Sperm Donor

Three Touchstones Of Showing Up: Acts Of Love Help During A Difficult Season

Four Ways To Best Help The Bereaved

Five Ways To Love Well, We Only Have One Chance

Five More Ways To Love Well, We Only Have One Chance

How The Soul Grows Through Loss

It Is Well With My Soul

A Grace Disguised: A Fork In The Road 

The Sandwich: A Courageous Conversation

“The Sandwich Technique” is a mindful, sensitive communication strategy which everyone (including sensitive people) can use to transform the relationships with their partner, friends, family, and co-workers.

Check out this link for a great, quick read about The Sandwich Technique.

This technique is not intended to be fake or simply to placate others. Being brutally direct can backfire and make people feel defensive and unable to hear your comments (no matter how useful they are).

When you use The Sandwich Technique, make requests not demands. Then, when you are communicating about a difficult issue, you sandwich the request between two positive statements. It’s a creative way of presenting challenging topics so that others can hear you. Let’s say you need more alone time. First you could say, “I appreciate all your support and I need your help with this.” Then place your request: “It would be great I can take more alone time to decompress. This will help me be even more present with you later.”

You empower your relationships by expressing your needs. Also, relationships thrive on both people feeling accepted. One patient told me, “My husband accepts me as I am. Through his acceptance I have learned to be true to myself.”

We all have issues to resolve in relationships no matter how good the match. To do this, we need to have loving, creative conversations.

The Sandwich Technique is a great way to have an important discussion with someone you care about.

When is the last time you were called to give difficult news to someone or have “that discussion” that you really don’t want to have?

I am very little inclined on any occasion to say anything unless I hope to produce some good by it. 

― Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the U.S.A. (1809-1865) 

Our pastor, Dr. Dwight “Ike” Reighard calls it a courageous conversation.

It has also been identified as “the elephant in the room”.

The next time you need to do this, try using the sandwich method. First, make a mental list of positive things you can share with the person you need to speak with and start with one of these. Next, consider how you will say, constructively, what needs to be stated. Finally, going back to your list of positives, end your conversation with one of these.

Positive***Negative***Positive

and voila, you have had the courageous conversation that surely needed to be had and all is well with this vital relationship. “The Sandwich” is a super great way to have that courageous conversation without hurting someone’s feelings.

I hope you will try this the next time you feel it is appropriate to say something that is on your mind.

Let’s Start Today!

Muscle Work Let's Make The Change

I read a devotion this morning that reminds me that Life takes Muscle Work and I want to be willing to make changes as life evolves.

Otherwise, I am just “a bystander”. And I don’t know about you, but I want to be “a participant” in this life, not just someone who is here and accounted for, but not really taking part, not connecting, not interacting, not having an impact.

I am learning that the best way to bring peace to my external circumstances is to begin with internal work. Internal peace will begin to settle external chaos.

Here is an excerpt from the devo I read:

“I’m convinced that life without risk isn’t much of a life. There’s a certain comfort in predictability. But it’s the kind of comfort you don’t find when you’re moving and growing. It’s the comfort you find in hibernation.
If you’ve followed sports or been around athletes, you know that an athlete regularly stretches his muscles to the point where they burn. Otherwise these muscles become inflexible, unresponsive, and easily fatigued. The same is true with your soul. It must be regularly stretched. Failure to do so gives you comfort in the short term, but ultimately leaves you emotionally and spiritually unfit.
Connecting, loving, and pursuing dreams, all require risk and energy! Yes, you’ll be stretched to the point of discomfort. Yes, you may experience some hurt and disappointment. But these are far better alternatives than the loneliness, boredom, and quiet desperation that accompany a life without risk.” ~Steve Arterburn, New Life Live~
While it is not always comfortable, I want to stretch ALL of my muscles from here on out! My physical muscles, my faith muscles, my brain muscles, my compassion for others muscles. ALL of these, and more.
In addition, I want to discover what in my life is no longer serving me well. Maybe it’s a bad habit I have been carrying around for decades. A routine that has become commonplace. A Rut. A pattern that is no longer useful. A temperament that is not as kind as I would like.
Here below are some specific things offered by A + A Wellness, a group  founded on the belief that everyone deserves how to live the healthy lifestyle. For more great tips, check out their website here.
This list can be applied to all kinds of muscle-building in our lives.
We CAN  begin to incorporate more muscle and discipline into our days.
A + A Wellness Information
What is it for you and for me that we would like to change and alter for the  days ahead? What is no longer serving us? Yes, it can be difficult, and risky, too. But, so, so worth it. It is truly a Fork In The Road, and we get to choose the way.
Let’s Start Today!

6 Ways We Can Relieve Stress Starting Today An Acronym

Do you have a lot of stress in your life these days. With all of the news of the weather,  the tumultuous political climate, and the fast pace at which we live, it would be no surprise to anyone that our stress levels are at an all-time high. 

'We're all broken. That's how the light gets in.'
Ernest Hemingway

Today, I will share with you six ways we can begin to relieve our stress starting today.

S-Seize the moment, pause and be IN the moment. Realize that this few minutes may be all we have. Breathe deeply connecting with your heart.

T-Take a minute to meditate and pray…whatever that means for you. Express gratitude. As a Christ-follower, I have learned that He meets me right where I am whenever I reach out to Him. I’m so thankful for this truth.

R-Rest enough. I know this is easier said than done. Especially for parents of young ones and those who are working long hours, but insufficient sleep puts us on edge. Try setting the timer on your phone and stretch out for a 15-25 minute power nap. At night, keep your screens away from your bedside table. It is particularly important to do this before sleep as it can cut down many of the problems related to insomnia and other sleep disorders.

We love to catch up as we hike up Kennesaw Mountain when my friend, Kathy comes into town.

E-Be sure to get some exercise, even if it is a simple walk around your workplace parking lot during your lunch break. Move. Stretch. Stretch. Move. Exercise will pump up your endorphins, improving your mood. 

S-Shed Stuff. Keep a “give away” box handy and put things in there on a regular basis. Most will agree that we just have too much stuff! Let’s give things away that are still useful and unclutter our lives some to help us relieve stress.

S-Screen Time Reduced. Most of us, if we were completely honest, spend way too much time looking at screens during our waking hours. The preoccupation with our devices, even during free time can often mess up other schedules causing delays in routine work, creating unwanted stress.
Regulating screen time can help individuals block out at least some of the channels through which stress is stimulated.

Which of these six ideas will you incorporate into your life in the days ahead?

Past Posts You May Have Missed:

Solitude: 7 Ways To Find It

Gift From The Sea

8 Ways To Share With Others

Fill Your Love Tank

Check This Out! Steal, Still, Steel

The Attic Is Clean. The Heart Is Light. 

The Simple Things

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Unbroken Circle Of Life, Love 5th Annual Rails To River Bicycle Ride For Taylor Read

Kelly, her brother-in-law, Brian, and her Dad, Jess, are ready to hit the VA Creeper Trail!
Joan and Delo on the Trail! WE met at TTU in 1976, over 40 years ago! The circle of life and love grows bigger.

We experienced an unbroken circle of life and love this past weekend as we  once again gathered to celebrate a life well lived. The 5th annual Rails To River  is held every October to celebrate the life of Taylor Read, who left us too soon in March of 2015.

Kathy, Kelly, Delo, and Joan are ready to hit the VA Creeper Trail for the 8-mile trek to Taylor’s Shelter!

A unique shelter, designed by Taylor’s sister, Megan was dedicated during the first ride in 2015. Following an 8-mile ride on this scenic trail, Taylor’s shelter is the destination for a picnic, Bluegrass music, and fellowship with friends and family.  The day could not have been more perfect. The late summer heat had finally lessened, the rain stayed away, blue skies were wide open, and fall was truly in the air on the Virginia Creeper Trail.

'Dear God, Thank you for Everything we have, and we hope everybody's okay.' Taylor's Prayer

Wayne Miller, the past president of the Virginia Creeper Trail shared a few words: “We can all experience Heaven while on this beautiful trail that Taylor loved so much. Taylor’s Spirit has been felt all day on the ride and now at his shelter. Let’s all enjoy this very special day.”

Yes, Taylor was with us, with many of his friends from both high school and college, many now married and a few are new parents. Taylor was with us, with his cousins, his Aunt Allison and Uncle Brian from GA, his grandparents from VA, TN, and GA. Taylor was with the dozens of The Read’s friends who watched him grow from a baby into a handsome young man. A guy who loved his family so much. Taylor loved people, golf, baseball, and God. A student who worked hard in school and loved hanging out with his friends. Taylor was with us as we remembered the day we received the unexpected news of his passing, but more than that, we recalled the days that he lived, laughed, and loved.

'We're not going to build just a little lean-to for our Taylor.' Becky Matney

Megan Read expressed the appreciation of her entire family, to the crowd of over 200. Family and friends have helped in wonderful ways to help keep Taylor’s Legacy alive. As the designer of the shelter, Meg  also talked a bit about the background of the design and structure that was approved and built in seven short months. Click here to read an earlier post and see pictures of the months of building Taylor’s shelter.

Taylor’s Sis, Megan Read traveled from San Diego, California to share the trail with us!

As I looked around the shelter area and under the big, white picnic tent, I was moved by the wide variety of ages present on Saturday. Babies, babies, and lots of children, too, were all around for Taylor’s celebration. There were no less than four “pull-alongs” for those littles who are not quite old enough to bike the trail.

This circle of Life and Love is growing and Taylor Heston Read’s Legacy is expanding, too!

Leah, Scott, and Tripp Andrews, our family.
Our grandson, Tripp one-year-old on 8/24/19 prepares for the kickoff of his very first VA Creeper Trail ride.

Extra special for our family was having our first grandchild, Michael Scott Andrews, III, “Tripp”,  riding in one of those pull-alongs, towed by his strong Dad, Scott. Having Leah, Scott, and Tripp experience this meaningful weekend with us for their first time was just so awesome!

And our friend, Kathy Owen joined us from Pensacola, Florida for her first Taylor’s Ride. I bet it won’t be their last. We loved having my college friend, Delores and her Mama, Pat join us all in our Air BNB in Abingdon!

So, the next time Summer is drawing to an end, we’ll be making our plans to make the annual trip to SW Virginia, an area that has become dear to our hearts, just like Taylor Heston Read has.

Previous Posts about this inspiring family, The Reads, that you may have missed:

Leaving A Legacy

We Can Get Advice From A Trail

How Do We Describe Grief?

Standing At The Crossroads, Trying To Read The Signs

How The Soul Grows Through Loss

October Breezes In Like An Old Friend "Ode To October"

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While it is definitely difficult to choose a favorite month, I have finally decided that October is my best-loved month, for so many reasons. This year, especially, it feels like October has breezed in like an old friend, and boy, do I cherish my long-time friends. With our wedding day, our first-born’s, a sister’s and Dad Page’s birthdays, my parent’s anniversary, and ten years ago on the 24th, my Mama’s home going, October has earned the prize in my heart of hearts. Add the changing of the leaves, football games, fires with s’mores, pumpkins, and the cooler days, and there is even more reason to celebrate life during this Autumn Season!

Now, if someone would just remind the weather forecast that October has arrived!

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Here are a few thoughts for you about this special month, an “Ode to October”:

October
O hushed October morning mild,
Thy leaves have ripened to the fall;
Tomorrow’s wind, if it be wild,
Should waste them all.
The crows above the forest call;
Tomorrow they may form and go.
O hushed October morning mild,
Begin the hours of this day slow.
Make the day seem to us less brief.
Hearts not averse to being beguiled,
Beguile us in the way you know.
Release one leaf at break of day;
At noon release another leaf;
One from our trees, one far away.
Retard the sun with gentle mist;
Enchant the land with amethyst.
Slow, slow!
For the grapes’ sake, if the were all,
Whose elaves already are burnt with frost,
Whose clustered fruit must else be lost–
For the grapes’ sake along the all.

Robert Frost

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Another October birthday buddy, Delores, texted me this picture from her East Tennessee Home! So beautiful!

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“Just before the death of flowers,
And before they are buried in snow,
There comes a festival season
When nature is all aglow.”
– Author Unknown

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“There is no season when such pleasant and sunny spots may be lighted on, and produce so pleasant an effect on
the feelings, as now in October.”
– Nathaniel Hawthorne

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“The leaves fall patiently
Nothing remembers or grieves
The river takes to the sea
The yellow drift of leaves.”
– Sara Teasdale

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October second is a day of celebrations! Our wedding, our friend, Kelly’s birthday and The Gillams’ son, Brook’s special day, too!

Autumn scene. Fall. Trees and leaves in sun light

What are some of your favorite things about this season of change!?!

Previous Posts You May Have Missed:

Add To Your Faith Goodness

7 Reflections From A Movie

New Seasons Are Before Us: Fall, Football, And First-Time Grandparents

35 Rules For Women, Young And Old

October Musings

Wrestling And Seeking

Caring For Our Parents

A Beautiful October

Musings On Marriage 13,505 Days Since We Said "I Do"

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Thanks to our long-time friend, Keith, we met on a blind date on October 7, 1978 for a University of Georgia home football game. On October 2, 2019, my husband, Donny and I celebrate 36 years of marriage.

The Dawgs conquered Ole Miss that day,in 1978, with a score of 42-3. What an awesome omen, a sign of good things to come regarding our future together.

We all know that a successful marriage doesn’t just happen. There’s no denying that this is a frightening time for couples. More than half of all first marriages end in divorce; 60 percent of second marriages fail.

LIFE is an adventure with this guy by my side!

Today, I have for you some musings on marriage, 13,505  days since we said “I Do”.

  • Marriage is hard work. This relationship is not for the faint of heart, but the rewards are great.
  • You cannot change your spouse. Don’t even try!  “The greatest roadblock to a great relationship is trying to force a change through bribes or threats.” Jonathan Lockwood Huie
    Since we first met in 1979, in June and then again in August, we’ve celebrated 76 birthdays together!
  • Keep your dreams alive together. “A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together becomes a reality.” John Lennon
  • Respect and love your spouse! A good, strong marriage is based on respect.
  • Don’t keep secrets from your spouse. “The fewer secrets you have, the happier you will be.” Jonathan Lockwood Huie
  • Give your spouse attention. “Gift the love of your life with a hold on social media, undistracted, untelevisioned, unhurried attentiveness.” Mary Anne Radmacher
  • “…do not let the sun set upon your anger.” Ephesians 4:26 “Make sure you never, never argue at night. You just lose a good night’s sleep, and you can’t settle anything until morning anyway.” Rose Kennedy
  • Arguing and disagreeing is perfectly normal in a good marriage and fusses make the reunion so much sweeter.  I believe we grow in our relationships by reconciling our differences. That’s how we become more loving people and truly experience the fruits of marriage.
  • No one deserves unfaithfulness in a marriage! If a person is not happy enough to be faithful to the chosen one, one would hope they would just be honest and make their unhappiness known instead of sneaking around with another.
    My Daddy escorted me on October 2, 1982 reminding me of the word, EQUANIMITY. Just as he did with my 3 sisters as they were escorted on their wedding days, the focus was on equanimity: mental calmness, composure, and coolheadedness. We’ve all come to use this as a theme to live by.
  • Each spouse should have the room and freedom to be who they are as an individual. “Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you. Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires.” Deepak Chopra
  • No one, absolutely no one should be verbally or physically abused in a marriage relationship. Take a firm stand against this kind of treatment. We teach people how to treat us.
  • If this appeals to you and your love, take occasional, brief trips away from one another. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. We’ve been doing this since the beginning of our 35 year marriage and believe it to be a great thing.
  • When choosing a guy, take note of how he treats his mother. This may be a good sign about how he treats women, in general.
  • Develop true love and an alignment of the same fundamental values in going for a successful marriage. “…a cord of three strands is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12
  • At all costs, avoid criticizing your spouse, especially in the presence of others. It NEVER helps, and often makes things worse.
  • Listen To Each Other. “No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is not saying.” Anonymous
    Our Family! Breckenridge, Colorado, March 2017
  • CARE deeply for your spouse. “Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
  • Share and grow a common faith. “Faith is the highest passion in a human being.” Soren Kierkegaard “A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12.
  • Persistence always pays off! “Don’t give up. There are too many naysayers out there who will try to discourage you. Don’t listen to them.
    The only one who can make you give up is yourself.” Sidney Sheldon “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize
    how close they were to success when they gave up.” Thomas Edison
  • No matter who the bread-winner is, share the chores in the home and the care of the children. This builds both teamwork and camaraderie. “Many hands make light work.” A Proverb
  • A good marriage is an intimate and loving relationship which gives both partners security, friendship, companionship, support, comfort, and deep love that penetrates every aspect of life. None of this can be achieved without work and sacrifice.
  • For a marriage to succeed, both partners must be committed to its success. Marriage is one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity. It is the mystery of living as one flesh with another human being (Ephesians 5:31-32). Henry Cloud; John Townsend, Boundaries in Marriage
  • Once your children are married, try your best not to give unsolicited advice. And if they do ask for advice, help them with that one thing, without bringing the subject up again. (unless they do)
  • Look Around. Who are the ones you hang out with most of the time? Be sure they are folks who are as committed to a long-time marriage as you are.
  •  Say “I Love You”, when you say “Good Night.
  • Now that we are first-time grandparents, we are relishing this amazing season together. Supporting each other’s efforts as we hold these tiny ones, care for them, and pour our hearts and souls into loving them.
  • And another great tip added by my friend, Jan Kelly: Practice good manners with your spouse: please, thank you, excuse me, I’M SORRY (often!) Forgive Every Day. (thanks, Jan!)

What are some of your thoughts on how to build a successful marriage? Post your comments below or on my Facebook Page: Pages From Joan

Previous Posts You May Have Missed:

Can We Simply Do The Next Right Thing?

Humble And Kind

The Love Letter Challenge

4 Ways To Love Our Peeps

Pack A Shoebox Full Of Love

52 Things I Love About YOU and Other Handmade Gifts

Five Ways To Love Well

Five More Ways To Love Well

I Am Still Confident of This

Check This Out! Steal, Still, Steel

Wedding Tips

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What Feeds You And Me? Let’s Follow Our Heartsong.

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What feeds you and me? Let’s follow our heartsong.

Change is Inevitable. Growth is Optional. I’ve been thinking about some changes I would like to make and I am realizing more and more that changes must first take place from the inside out.

There is no doubt that there is a lot of evil, a ton of loss,so much sadness in our world today, what with the continued, enormous conflict and divisiveness  in our own country and across our globe. There are storms, like a current one named “Dorian”, that come up and disturb our sense of peace, our well-being.

Terrorists and criminals feed on fear. It seems their greatest delight must lie in horrifying others. Their goal-fear, our reaction-fear… is a normal response to the circumstances in our world today.

Life circumstances catch us off guard with the sudden death of a loved one, the delivery of a scary diagnosis, a job loss.

Call it naivety…

…but what if we decided to “fight back”, not with weapons, but with hope paired with our fear? What if we decided to intentionally have guarded optimism about our future days?

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7

There was a brave, young soul, named Matthew Joseph Thaddeus Stepanek, who lived between the years of 1991-2004.

A heart song is something deep inside each of us. It’s our sense of why we are here and how we can keep going. It is like a purpose. It may be to live as a mommy or a daddy, or a firefighter or a delivery person, or a child with a disability who teaches others about patience and love and acceptance. Heartsongs are usually easy to hear when we are young, but we sometimes get too busy or hurt or angry to listen to them as we get older. And just like any gift that isn’t cared for or used well, it is possible to forget how to listen to the message of each song. But even if we completely lose our heart song, we can share someone else’s song until we are able to reawaken or recreate our own.” Mattie Stepanek, in the Introduction to his 2002 Best Seller, Hope Through Heartsongs 

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Mattie’s Poem penned in 1999, just five years before he passed at the age of 13

Despite a rare, debilitative disease (dysautonomic mitochondrial myopathy) Mattie managed to publish five poetry books before his passing at the age of 13.

“We are each Angels-in-the-making, and that is why we can see and honor in others, such as Mattie, the goal that each of us is traveling toward. Mattie reminds us of that goal and makes us thankful.” Gary Zukav in the Foreword to Mattie’s 2001 Best Seller Hope Through Heartsongs

Mattie began writing poetry at the age of three to cope with the death of his brother of this same genetic disease. Did you know? Mattie’s fans included Jimmy Carter and Oprah Winfrey. He was well-known for his promotion of peace. As I consider Mattie’s heart and work, I am inspired to “fight back” with goodness. But how does one do that? In Mattie’s poem entitled “Bravery Prayer”, he suggests we pair hope and fear together in one great force, leading to Bravery!

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Mattie’s thoughts remind me of another great example for making the discovery of what feeds us:

The Tale Of Two Wolves

ONE EVENING, AN ELDERLY
CHEROKEE BRAVE TOLD HIS
GRANDSON ABOUT A BATTLE THAT
GOES ON INSIDE PEOPLE.

HE SAID “MY SON, THE BATTLE IS
BETWEEN TWO ‘WOLVES’ INSIDE US ALL.
ONE IS EVIL. IT IS ANGER,
ENVY, JEALOUSY, SORROW,
REGRET, GREED, ARROGANCE,
SELF-PITY, GUILT, RESENTMENT,
INFERIORITY, LIES, FALSE PRIDE,
SUPERIORITY, AND EGO.

THE OTHER IS GOOD.
IT IS JOY, PEACE LOVE, HOPE, SERENITY,
HUMILITY, KINDNESS, BENEVOLENCE,
EMPATHY, GENEROSITY,
TRUTH, COMPASSION AND FAITH.”

THE GRANDSON THOUGHT ABOUT
IT FOR A MINUTE AND THEN ASKED
HIS GRANDFATHER:

“WHICH WOLF WINS?…”

THE OLD CHEROKEE SIMPLY REPLIED,
“THE ONE THAT YOU FEED”

So with that old story, along with the courageous, short life of Mattie Stepanek, I ask us again…What feeds you and me? Whether we fear tornadoes, death, terrorists, earthquakes, or tax collectors, let’s follow our heart song. Let’s start within our own families, in our homes, today.

Let There Be Peace On Earth and Let It Begin With Me

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