New seasons are before us, fall, football, and most importantly, we are first-time grandparents.
“Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. How do you measure a year in the life. How about Love? Measure in Love. Seasons of Love. ” from Seasons of Love by, Donny Osmond
Just three weeks ago, my friend, Gloria and I were sitting in the Wellstar Kennestone Hospital Labor and Delivery waiting room. Gloria, who is our son-in-law, Scott’s Grandmother, asked me, “Joan, are you still writing blog posts on your Pages From Joan? I have not been getting any lately on my email.”
This brief conversation reminded me that I truly had been wanting to get back into writing posts for my Pages. Connected on Facebook with many of you on my Monday Mood, Tuesday Thoughts, Wholehearted Wednesday, Thursday Talk, and Friday Food For Thought weekly posts, I knew, however, I had missed posts here on the web.
Thanks for that question and your constant encouragement, Gloria!
Yes, it is the middle of September.
A couple of weeks ago, in Marietta, Georgia, I was sitting outside in the early dawn holding a steaming, black cup of coffee with our lab, Gracie. An owl in the distance was finishing his hooting for the night as we sat. My mug with an image of a yawning, sleepy-eyed baby in hand. Our new grandson. Our first grandchild.
Here I am again hoping to add encouragement and inspiration to our lives.
Right at a time in our journey when a whole new adventure is beginning for us. As of Friday night, August 24, 2018, we became first-time grandparents with the birth of a boy named Michael Scott Andrews, 111, also known as Tripp. Rolling into our world, three weeks early, Tripp weighed 5 lb. 2 oz. and measured 17 1/2 inches long.
Mommy, our daughter, Leah, and baby are doing splendidly with the constant help and aid of Tripp’s new Daddy, Scott. Watching Leah and Scott work as a team to nurture and care for this little guy has been nothing short of remarkable. Early on, Tripp required an around-the-clock feeding every two hours, even if this meant waking him up from a deep slumber to accomplish this.
And now, I find myself sitting in our son’s family home in University City, a suburb of St. Louis, Missouri. Just over a week has passed since the arrival of our precious little baby granddaughter, Elizabeth Noel Page. Our two children had due dates that were one day apart. Our grands had a different plan and surprised us with birthdays in different months, two weeks to the day apart in age. Relieving Jessica’s parents who have been so helpful during Elizabeth’s first week of life, I am staying here for the next several nights to cook, do laundry, oh, and I might hold our new granddaughter a little, too.
Oh, and I am not sure if I told you this…neither family wanted to find out the gender of the little one until the baby announced it him/herself on the birthday! After all of the fun and surprises during childhood, there are so few events to be curious and surprised over in adulthood. Not knowing if we were having two girls, two boys, or one of each added fuel to the fire of excitement!
Ecstatic. Overjoyed. Contentment. Grace.
These are some of the descriptions that have come to mind at this season of our life journey.
I’ve been surprised by how much I have missed my Mama during this past few weeks. My three big sisters have helped share the excitement and enjoyment of our two new grands. However, Mama was right beside me at my time of first-time motherhood in October, 1988, and I have longed for her to be with me as a first-time grandmother.
Thankfully, I’ve had the blessing of being next to Leah, along with Scott’s Mom, Cindy, who has been such a help to her. I am also getting the chance to spend time with our son and his bride as she experiences first-time motherhood. I am in awe with how calm and at ease both of our girls have been with their little ones.
Besides that, it has astonished me how the memories of my experience as a first-time Mommy to Leah have come pouring back to me.
I did not know how much my husband Pop and I would love these new little people, the children of our children.
I now know why they call these children GRANDchildren. Tripp and Elizabeth are surely grand to us.
My hope is that you and I will be inspired, encouraged, and learn new things as we journey on together through my PAGES from Joan. My goal to stay fit physically, spiritually, and emotionally has never been stronger than it is today. A grandmama, “Jojo” who plays on the floor and initiates adventures with these two grands is who I aim to be.
The Beat Goes On!
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Rules For Women Young and Old,
Especially for Daughters.
1. Make your bed every day; even if it’s right before you get in it. But I recommend doing it first thing.
It sets you up for a great day ahead.
2. Don’t wear ‘holey’ underwear. Ever. You deserve to feel decadent at all times…regardless.
3. Travel light through life. Keep only what you need. This includes people.
4. Put butter on your biscuit , and twice as much when you miss me. Add some fig preserves to remind yourself that comfort can be unusual.
5. It’s okay to cry when you’re hurt. It’s also okay to smash things; but, wash your face, clean your mess, and get up off the floor when you’re done. You don’t belong down there.
6. If you’re going to curse, be clever. If you’re going to curse in public, know your audience.
7. Seek out the people and places that resonate with your soul. Check in with yourself…a clenched jaw, heavy heart or cranky tummy is your sign to bail.
8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. And just because you shouldn’t doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take the chance. Just be smart about your risks.
9. 5-second rule. It’s just dirt. There are worse things in a fast food cheeseburger.
10. Happiness is not a permanent state. Wholeness is. Don’t confuse these.
11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack your bag.
12. Never walk through an alley.
13. Be less sugar, more spice, and only as nice as you’re able to without compromising yourself.
14. Can’t is a cop-out. BIG TIME. Step UP. Google It. Teach yourself. Don’t be mediocre.
15. Hold your heroes to a high standard. Be your own hero.
16. If you can’t smile with your eyes, don’t smile. Insincerity is nothing to aspire to.
17. Never lie to yourself. EVER. Embrace your delusions…and get on with it….
18. Your body, your rules. Always.
19. If you have an opinion, you better know why. If you don’t have an opinion, admit it and ask questions so that you can form one.
20. Practice your passions. Every. Day. No exceptions!
21. Ask for what you want. The worse thing they can say is no. A closed mouth doesn’t get fed.
22. Wish on stars and dandelions, then get to work to make them happen (leave room for magic)
23. Don’t skimp on good sheets. Like underwear and lovers…only the best should ever touch your skin.
24. Fall in love often. Particularly with ideas, art, music, literature, food and far-off places.
25. Fall hard and forever in love with nothing but yourself.
26. Say Please, Thank You, and Pardon Me, whenever the situation warrants it.
27. Reserve I’m sorry for when you truly are.
28. Naps are for grown-ups, too. Indulge.
29. Question everything except your own intuition.
30. You have enough. You are enough.
31. You are amazing! Don’t let anyone ever make you feel you are not. If someone does….walk away. You deserve better.
32. No matter where you are, you can always come home.
33. Be happy, say your prayers and remember your roots.
34. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
35. No one will ever love you more than I do
Copied, Author Unknown
*I would love to know what you would add to this list! Comment Below and share with the daughters, granddaughters, nieces and women you love.
You can make a difference with CAL or Catch A Lift, which began in memory of Army Cpl. Chris Coffland, and has gone on to help many veterans since its founding.
After 9/11/01 and every anniversary of September 11th since that horrific day of tremendous loss, a phrase sticks out in my mind:
We Will Never Forget!!!
We say we will remember forever the true sacrifice, day in and day out, of men and women in uniform, whether they be first responders or part of our strong military services.
And yet, is that statement really true, other than the usual times of remembering, Veterans’ Day, the 4th of July, and other red, white, and blue celebrations? Do you and I really remember these souls who serve and their families in our prayers? Do we truly recognize that freedom is not free, and how many grave sacrifices have been made on our behalf? Do we intentionally share our resources in causes related to wounded veterans?
'Shake off any dust that may accumulate from stagnation of purpose.' Army Cpl. Christopher Coffland (1966-2009)
Our daughter, Leah, is running a 10k in February, and she is showing her support for our veterans by running in honor of the Catch a Lift foundation, founded in memory of Army Cpl. Christopher Coffland (1966-2009).
Leah is raising funds for the Catch a Lift foundation, and she needs your help!
****I am thankful for a large group of my girlfriends who have already pooled together a donation of $200.00 during Summer of 2016!!! Thanks, GG girls!
Founded in memory of Army Cpl. Chris Coffland, Catch A Lift Fund (CAL) enables post 9/11 combat wounded Veterans to regain and maintain their physical and mental health by providing granted gym memberships, fitness programs or in-home gym equipment, anywhere in the United States. If a veteran has an appointed VA certified caregiver, the caregiver is eligible as well.
In addition, CAL’s M.A.P.S. Program ensures success by tracking progress and offers motivation, accountability and peer support through small squads of Veterans who heal together Vet to Vet. CAL Veterans are not only losing weight and moving away from obesity, but also eliminating the need for multiple prescription medications and finding their “new self”. CAL Veterans are thriving, reintegrating, healing and saving each other’s lives through newly established comradery; filling the void left after military service.
Won’t you jump on board and support this important cause?
Thanks in advance for supporting our daughter, Leah, in her efforts to make a difference in the lives of wounded veterans.
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My friend, Jan, worked directly with three-year old severe special needs children in Fulton County for the past several years. Jan is the one who introduced me to Pete, the Cat, a character she had read about again and again with her students. Pete the Cat: I Love My White Shoes is the début picture book of author Eric Litwin, and the illustrator is James Dean.
Don’t let a bad day make you feel like you have a bad life.“ Anonymous
This story pleased and satisfied this little group of preschoolers, regardless of how many times they heard it.
A bend in the road is not the end of the road…unless you fail to make the turn.” Anonymous
While Pete’s circumstances can in no way be compared to the young woman in the following story’s life journey, both are examples of learning how to respond to our circumstances.
Life is not always a bed of roses. Thorns help you to appreciate the flower. Hardship helps one appreciate the beauty of life.” Cherlynn Shakespeare
This is a lesson we must work on with our growing children and grandchildren, because as adults, we know, “Life is not always a bed of roses!” Helping our children to see this early on will help them immensely in their future.
Smooth sailing do not make skillful sailors.” African Proverb
Not ‘rescuing our children’ when life’s circumstances take an unexpected turn will empower them and strengthen them to go forge ahead amidst disappointment.
Another friend, also named Jan (W.), posted the following story on Facebook recently and we both agreed that when going through a tough time, it is imperative to stop and make a conscious decision about our reaction. To stop and decide: Will I be an egg, a carrot, or coffee?
Thanks for this story, Jan. This is a good lesson for all of us, no matter what stage of life we are in. You’ll see what I mean.
A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her – her husband had cheated on her and she was devastated. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as soon as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, ‘Tell me what you see.’
‘Carrots, eggs, and coffee,’ she replied.
Her grandmother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The grandmother then asked the granddaughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.
Finally, the grandmother asked the granddaughter to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The granddaughter then asked, ‘What does it mean, grandmother?’
Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6
The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
“Which are you?” she asked her granddaughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity? Do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain.. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?
How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. The poverty-stricken man makes the same mistake about the rich man.” George Bernard Shaw
The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
May we all be like the COFFEE.
Thanks to Eric Litwin and James Dean for following their dream and writing
The Next time we face adversity,
let’s think about Pete and how to best respond!
I celebrated my thirtieth birthday just two months before I became a first time mother to Leah Suzanne Page. I had been teaching for nearly a decade at Avondale Elementary and was so ready to be a mom! My husband and I had “unexplained infertility” for three years, so this made us even more excited to add a new baby to our family. The transition into motherhood can be tough on anyone. And it is not just the difficulty of the first one’s arrival, it is the continual development of the baby, brothers/sisters who follow that first-born, and of us as a mother. Of course, a child’s needs change and vary with each stage of his or her life. I still recall easily as a new mother sometimes wondering what my “identity” was. Before Leah, I had been an elementary teacher and then a lead teacher for the last four years. I had a lot of responsibility and I loved what I did. Especially as a Lead Teacher for Student Services, a pilot position in DeKalb County, I was able to help kids who really needed extra attention and TLC. When I found myself as a Mommy, one-on-one with this little precious person, I rarely, but on occasion, questioned my ability to handle this job assignment. That may sound odd, but it also may be familiar to you who have had a similar experience as me. I have always loved Carole King, especially her Tapestry album, and Beautiful became my theme song! Click here to hear this song and read the lyrics. Most moms, including myself, will agree that as mothers, there are greater rewards than can even be imagined! Though I am not yet a grandmother, lots of my girlfriends are, and I imagine it would be helpful to look back on the busy season of young motherhood when becoming a Grandma. Now that our two children are grown, college graduates, and both married to their best friends, it is fun to look back and think about a few of the job assignments and roles I have held with Leah and her brother, Walker, for the past two and a half decades:
Infant Stage Mom Assignment: baby cuddler, rocker, changer, a night-feeder, a light sleeper/early riser, and more, available for all shifts, 7 days a week, no vacation unless the ideal substitute has been secured and trip has been well planned out
Toddler Stage Mom Assignment: an athlete in top condition to safeguard busy toddler, quick reflexes, knowledge of first-aid is essential, 15 hour workdays, no coffee/lunch breaks unless child naps, boundless energy and infinite patience, provision of healthy snacks and meals, reads to child daily, begin manners teaching, praying with child, and more
Preschool Stage Mom Assignment: share time with newborn, brother: Donald Walker Page (see above infant stage for tasks needed with Walker, lol), provide books, puzzles, play doh, etc. in a loving, creative, learning environment for preschooler, two hours off five days a week when Mom’s Morning Out is in session and child is well, reads to child daily and more
Ages 6-12 Stage Mom Assignment: good understanding of many sports, chauffeur, willingness to be a scout leader, room mom, love of nature with no objections to mud, spiders, insect collections, pets, and neighbor’s kids, continues to read to child daily/child reads to mom, (see above toddler stage tasks for tasks needed with Walker) and more
Ages 13-18 Stage Mom: provider of money for chores, chaperone, specialist in adolescent psychology (haha), large-quantity cook, ability to recognize when presence is embarrassing child and casually disappear, encourager of independent reading by teen, counselor, (see ages 6-12 stage tasks for tasks needed with Walker) and more
Age 18 and Beyond Stage Mom: provider of more money, clothes, music, wheels, and more, NO advice necessary (unless solicited), and… this stage will last indefinitely <smile>
After going through these humorous, extensive lists, much of which I’ve likely inadvertently left off, I started thinking of a Focus on the Family article that I read early on in my mothering years. The article emphasized four phases of Parenting. Again, now that we have two grown children, I can attest that these phases are very accurate. While they do overlap, if these ideas are applied to the parenting of your children or even considered with your grandchildren, I believe you will find them as helpful as I have found them through the years.
- PHASE ONE: COMMANDER: Early Years-In the first years of a child’s life, a parent does everything for him/her. During this phase, the following phrases are used repeatedly: “Yes, because…” or “No, because…”
- PHASE TWO: COACH: Pre-teen Years-During this season, household chores are important, along with not only teaching the child about life, but also encouraging their growth from direction to self-direction. Try to help clarify, rather than dictate their choices, asking, “Would you rather do this or that?”
- PHASE THREE: COUNSELOR: Teen Years-These are the years when a child can reasonably be expected to understand what is right, just, and fair. The operative phrase from the parent is, “That’s a decision you can make.”
- PHASE FOUR: CONSULTANT: Freshman College and Beyond-This phase can truly be the most difficult of all because it involves letting go. The phrase to keep on the tip of our tongues is, “Please let me know if I can help.