Have you been thinking about making a change? Has something been returning to your mind again and again, and now you know the time is right to do something about it? For years, people have believed that if you practice making a change for 21 consecutive days the chances are good that you will succeed. Recently, though, studies have shown that the truth is that not only is it a lot more complicated than that, it would probably take more like 66 days of consistent change before one might see a difference.
This “thing” might be small or it might be big. Your dental hygienist may be encouraging you to floss more consistently. It might be that you’ve been noticing yourself being more negative around others than you used to be. It might be you’ve been catching yourself being impatient and short too often with your children—taking normal, human anxiety out on them.
The people who are hardest to please are often the most self-centered and are only happy when you do what is good for them—and that usually is not good for the whole. Dr. Henry Cloud
You could be considering your food intake or exercise plan and how you need to make some adjustments for your health’s sake. Maybe you’re a little worried that you drink too much on occasion and you want to make some changes there. Perhaps you are discovering that you are a people pleaser and you are weary of that role. Whatever it is, I have come to realize that it takes patience and courage to make changes.
But if you are ready, I will share a few things I have learned lately.
I just finished reading a book entitled Never Go Back: 10 things you’ll never do again By, Dr. Henry Cloud. In this book, Dr. Cloud highlights ten things that he has come to believe successful people live by. As I read through this book in the past couple of weeks, I considered these ten things and I agree with Dr. Cloud on all accounts.
If we can understand the very real consequences that come when we choose to do things in an unproductive way, make a choice to “turn away” from those choices, we could find ourselves in a new place where we never go back to doing it the old way. I believe this can spell FREEDOM from our self-made prison, which is, by the way, unique to each individual.
Is this easy? I would say, “No”. Is it worth the effort? “Absolutely.”
Change is a process.
Dr. Cloud ends this book by sharing twelve powerful principles to make change happen. One that stood out for me is: Fire the Bad Boss Inside. His main emphasis was this: “When you and I begin to be aware of the negative thinking and the old patterns playing in our heads and then counter them with new voices, we will change.” Dr. Cloud reminds us that if the negative voices are there, they came from a real voice—a teacher, a parent, a neighbor, or someone else in your path, likely when you were at an impressionable stage.
We have to make an intentional decision,
a conscious choice,
to fire the bad boss inside.
Let’s start today!