Four Ways To Love Our Peeps Valentine's Day Is Near

Here I will share with you four ways to better love our peeps.  As Valentine’s Day draws near, our minds go to the significant, loving relationships in our life journey. Are they fulfilling, communicative, in harmony, and committed? Do we enjoy time spent with these we are in relationship with? Do we laugh together? Most of us if we are completely honest, would say, that our relationships could be better.

One of the things my Mama taught me is a tool she used during her 58 years of marriage. When the faults of her man seemed glaring to her, she would take a moment, hold out both hands in front of her, like a scale, and say this to herself: “My right hand represents Johnny’s shortcomings, and my left hand represents the ways that I fall short.” Invariably, she would tell me, her left hand always weighed heavier than her right.

'Dear Friends, Let us love one another, for love comes from God.' 1 John 4:7

Rather than wanting our partners to change so things would be better, perhaps it is time to determine how we could show up differently and make the difference we are seeking.

Here are three ways to better love our peeps:

1) Cultivate Your Love Life Inside Out

This first one may surprise you, as it has less to do with your relationships and more to do with your inner heart. Did you know? Studies have shown that one will never let oneself have more health, happiness, and success than one feels he/she deserves. What does that mean? This means that right this minute you and I are attracting what we feel worthy of having. What would you say your current self-worth score is on a scale of 1-10? What things could you do to increase that score? Before we can expect to find love from anyone else, we first have to find it within ourselves. Our God loves us and wants us to have self-worth and self-respect. And let’s surround ourselves with people who truly love and support us!

'Friends are like elevators. They either take us up or bring us down.' Naomi Judd

(2) Leave the Blame Game Behind

I know when I criticize my husband of nearly 35 years, he literally shuts down, not with anger, just sadness. Blaming and judging will guarantee a poor partnership! Lucille Ball said, “Love yourself, and everything else will fall into place.” Could it be that there is something you are ‘unhappy’ within yourself? Think about it! An important relationship is our connection to our own heart. When we accept ourselves as we are, then and only then can we accept others without condition.

My Parents, Valentines for Life!

(3) Let The Past Go

Every beating heart has a story and our history (thank goodness!!!) is not our destiny. It’s good to habitually say to ourselves: “That was then. This is now.” We all have things in our past we may not be proud of, but we can let that all go and focus on today. “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That is why we call today, ‘the present'” (unknown)

(4)Live Out Our Days with Gratitude and Appreciation

Wayne Dyer said: “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change.” In every loving relationship, there are more good things than bad things going on. However, if the negative things become our ‘focal point’, then they seem way bigger and become more and more dominant in our partnership.  Read this by Charles Swindoll on Attitude. We all get to choose the thoughts that control our feelings and emotions that end up driving our lives.

Now, we all know that Valentine’s Day is just one more day established by Hallmark, LOL!

Love Always Wins!

What are some of the ways you and I can exhibit more love towards our peeps each and every day of the year? How can we make our parents, sons, daughters, girlfriends, and partners feel more treasured and cherished in the days ahead?

Previous Posts You May Have Missed:

Learn To Love Yourself Despite The Struggles

Every Beating Heart Has A Story

Five Ways To Love Well

Five More Ways To Love Well

Fill Your Love Tank: Don’t Run On Empty

The Love Letter Challenge

Solitude 7 Ways To Find It

El embarcadero

Can you remember a time when you were totally engaged in the present moment? Time disappeared. There was only you. Nothing to do. Nowhere to go. A chance to be quiet and listen to your heart.

IMG_9325

I recently had the opportunity to have some solitude, a time completely alone, aside from our two dogs, Gracie and Mocha. This doesn’t happen that often, so I wanted to share a few things with you about my adventure with solitude. While Donny was away for a few nights on a scuba diving trip, I seized the moments and took an intentional time-out for me. I had been storing up files, clippings, quotes, thoughts from my siblings, all about my Mama—and I had been pondering a book project, entitled “12 Lessons My Mama Taught Me.”

BE still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

I was basically alone, with God, me, and our two canines for a couple  of nights.  After attending author, Lauretta Hannon’s Write-In Workshop (author of The Cracker Queen: A Memory of a Jagged, Joyful Life) on April 9, 2016, as well as currently taking Josh Langston’s Writing Classes, (author of Writing Naked: The Secrets of Dynamic Prose Laid Bare, among many novels) I got down to business. I wrote,  mused, wrote, and pondered. The time was amazing, I must say.

IMG_0191
Found this quiet spot while I was on a hike.

Now, before you say “There’s no way I have time for that!” and just stop reading at this point, I do realize that it is rare for a person to have the luxury to unplug from it all for this long.

Solitude is definitely a gift that few people take full advantage of and I would like to offer some thoughts  on how you and I can seize the moments for being alone, if only for a few minutes in a day, week, or month.

Seven Ways To Find Solitude:

  1. take a walk

  2. sleep in

  3. savor a cup of hot tea

  4. treat yourself to ________ (a massage, shopping, exercise, a nap, gardening, healthy foods, dark chocolate, yoga, reading)

  5. say “YES” to what you desire

  6. say “NO” to that which doesn’t inspire

  7. spend time in nature, alone, enjoying the pleasure of your own company

    IMG_0201
    First published in 1854, Thoreau’s Walden has inspired many.

Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) lived alone in the woods for two years and two months in a small structure built with his own hands, for just under $29.00.

An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day. Henry David Thoreau

While I have not been able to get through his book, Walden, cover-to-cover, I have read enough bits and pieces to confirm the benefits of solitude, both long like Thoreau, or short-term like the seven suggestions above.

IMG_5951

…start down that path to solitude.

How will you and I find ways to carve solitude

into our lives in the days ahead?

IMG_8498

On my way home from my time of solitude, the song, The Prayer came on over my Sirius radio.

I pray you’ll be our eyes, and watch us where we go,
And help us to be wise, in times when we don’t know
Let this be our prayer, as we go our way
Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace
To a place where we’ll be safe…lyrics from The Prayer

As I listened to the lyrics, I thought about how much better our world would be if we could just take a few minutes out and utter the lyrics of this song…The Prayer, with Sandi Patty, and Don Pelsis.

SaveSave